Wednesday, 23 March 2016

I saw I had not written here and dropped by...

I have been paused from sharing or joining in the dancing for over a year now with very few exceptions of sharing in community camp contexts - where there is an innocence of openness to feeling, at my 60th birthday camp - and one visit to a group while travelling on a break away where I found nothing had changed in my own sense of not feeling one with a culture that I find joyless - though of course it does not see itself in such terms.

Joylessness in dance is no different to me from joylessness in Life - but I have associations of joy in dance that find me unwilling to join in or with a loveless intent masking as a form of social acceptability. This may seem harsh for I am not ordaining that the intent of others is invalid for them - but that I find no meeting in love of whatever it is. Or rather - I find a culture of limitation and denial of feeling, in preference for a sense of control - and only such joys as conform and fit under such controls are 'allowed'. The bird of joy sings not of a cage - but of its freedom.

Love is being with what is - love is moving and being moved and loving is a movement of uncovering the more of who we are in fresh perspective. This may not always be comfortable - but it is richly rewarding and genuine.

The world 'outside' is the cultural context for anything going on and colours it automatically - unless there is a conscious cultural purpose rising and embodying from hearts joined in shared willingness.

I love singing for and joining in dance - so much so that it is one of my primary bridging gifts in this lifetime by which to share true presence in the evaporation or falling away of presentations. But such natural miracle holds no culture or staying power - but reverts to or is covered up by a 'consumer' mentality of separate minds in private purposes - a managed interior life that uses relationships to get what it needs rather than embracing them as the opening of a shared appreciation of a qualitatively expanded and embracing consciousness.

I need dance to be in the context of a truly shared willingness of embracing Life rather than as an end in and of itself - or I am going through the motions in a sense of denial and seeking to make that 'work' so as to 'fit in'. And that is toxic to my sense of integrity. I don't belong there and that doesn't belong in me - so I released running and holding dance events indefinitely by focussing in what my willingness and embrace of life naturally and joyfully moves me to live.

There is nothing 'wrong' with anyone choosing to do anything for their own reasons. But if those reasons limit the freedom to share in a natural joy in being - then a hidden or tacit undercurrent is working to create an atmosphere of conformity and compliance. Very common to circle dance and the death of free willingness.

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